Life in Washington

Stacy and I are in Washington getting ready for the rest of our time in Esperanza. We are recruiting people to help us up there and visiting our friends and family we have missed so much. We are going to be there during July and August for summer campsq and many of the work groups. Then we will run a six week family session and some crisis counseling before moving back to Yakima to pay off some school debt and get some more counseling experience. We have loved our time in Esperanza and will miss it very much.

All our buddies

Thank you all for your prayer and support.  Stacy and I have just finished our 3^rd 6 week family session and we are exhausted.  It was a great session, and we miss the people we got to know.  This year here has been an amazing year, and Stacy and I have grown in so many ways, constantly challenged and consistently blessed.  We have fallen in love with the people of the west coast of Vancouver Island and they have changed our lives.

The next year at Esperanza looks like a transition year, as the leadership at Esperanza is looking for Long Term Staff while trying to keep the programs running.  Deane, the director, has asked Stacy and I to come back for summer and fall.  The summers are very different at Esperanza, as there are kids camps and work groups instead of family sessions.  Stacy and I will help out where we can, do all the intakes for the fall session and study for our Licensure Test that we hope to take soon.  Then we hope to make it to Chicago for the CCDA Conference.  In the fall we will lead the 6 week Family session ourselves, and maybe some crisis counseling as well.

What we need is tons of prayer for us this summer and fall.  It gets lonely up here and we miss our friends and family.  If you ever wanted to visit us, this would be a great time.  We are going to be running the session without Dr. Nancy Murphy and we could really use prayer for that as well.  We badly need two more staff for the 6 week session starting the 2^nd week of September so if you know anybody who would like to help, please give us their information.

Again, thanks for all the support and prayer.  Stacy and I are going to be in Yakima and Seattle the next few weeks, and Stacy’s phone will actually be working then, so we would love to get back in touch with you all.

Jeremy

Sabbath

I have never rested well.  At least on purpose.  What I am good at is distraction and procrastination, neither of which make me feel good afterword.  But these last two Sunday’s I have been very purposeful about rest, and creating rituals that will sustain me.  Our weeks up here are so intense and busy we have had to find ways to rest.

Last Sunday we started Sunday School at Esperanza.  It consists of a Nancy Murphy (my supervisor and former professor) led talking circle, where the staff get together and talk from their heart about their week.  If you have never been apart of a talking circle, it is an amazing event.  It is central to everything we do at Esperanza, and Stacy and I each lead one every weekday for the family session members.  But we have never done it for staff, and it has been so good to hear how the session is going for the people who we are usually to busy to connect with.

Last Sunday I was able to take a nap and then the staff got together again and watched a documentary on an Islamic women who is trying to reform.  Then we talked about everything we saw.  I have worked with many of these people for almost a year, but this is the first time we were able to do anything like this together.

This week we weren’t watching a movie together, so instead I built a fort.  I spent almost 3 hours with lots of little kids and 2 adults working on a fort right past my front yard.  The named it “THE CANO” and said its the best fort since “Fort Elmo”.  I am assuming they meant the Alamo, unless Elmo has really changed his image the past few years.  I couldn’t think of anything more relaxing than to build something with kids exactly how they wanted it built.  Our fort now has 3 stories, a kitchen, a dinner table, a bedroom and lots of traps to catch people.  What a great Sabbath.

Transitions

Super Stace and i have been back in Esperanza for little over a week.  During that time we had my Brother Trevor and his wife Caity up, 40 or so high schoolers came up as a work crew, we built a new trail, we had 30 or so “neighbors” over for Easter and the following day, and now we are getting Esperanza ready for 40 or so more people for the 6 week family session that starts on Sunday.  So we have been busy but happy to be back.

Having Trevor and Caity up was wonderful.  When visitors come up to Esperanza we don’t have the ability to stop our daily activities, so they got to do everything we normally do.  It rained almost every day they were here, and Trevor and I built the trail with 10 or so high schoolers no matter what the weather was.  For Easter we invited people we know from Tahsis and Zeballos (The two closest towns to Esperanza) we had a church service, an Easter Egg hunt, a huge turkey and Ham dinner, a Treasure hunt, a Hot Dog and Marsh mellow roast, then a movie.  In the morning we had a huge breakfast and everyone jumped on the boats and were on their way back home.  Now we are cleaning houses, welcoming staff back, fixing a chimney, getting the boats ready, painting the gym floor and eating all the pie that the work crew left over.

We will be very busy over the next 6 weeks and don’t know how much time we will have to write, but we will be thinking of you all.  If you would pray for this session, and send cookies, it would be very appreciated.

Jeremy

Talking Circle

Stacy and I are with family this week after a long session in Canada.  We will be going back next week and are excited to see what will happen.  But I want to share one of the highlights of last session.

We have a talking circle every weekday during session, and it is the exercise that everything we do up in Esperanza is focused on.  The idea of a talking circle is very simple.  We separate men and women and set up chairs around a circle.  We take something from nature, whether it is a pretty rock, or stick or feather, and hold it.  You can only talk when you have the rock, you listen when you don’t have the rock, and you speak from your heart, not your head.  Then one person talks, passes the rock, or stick, or whatever, and we go around the room for an hour and a half.  While it is simple, it is actually very hard to do, especially the speaking from the heart part.

But what happens is really amazing. Day after day I would talk about whatever has come up in my mind, and in my heart, and I would listen.  And some days someone would bring up something big from their life, like the pain of growing up, or a major trauma, or a failure as a boyfriend and it would make me think about the same thing in my own life.  And when I would share, it would bring up things in the other guys lives.  So despite one person talking at a time, we would end up with the most amazing intimate conversation.

I would end up talking about something I never planned on talking about.   I would connect with someone I never knew I had anything in common with.  I would share the hidden things of my heart because someone else just shared the same thing.  I would learn and grow, as a husband, as a counselor and as a friend, just by listening to other people’s hearts.  Even though I am there to lead, nothing has benefited me as a person more than to share and listen with these men.

View from our Bench

Bonus

Tomorrow is the last day of our 6 week session.  It is weird to think I didn’t know any of these people before 6 weeks, because of how intimately we have all grown together.   We  have had so many tears and joys together, as well as countless basketball and hockey games.  I have gained so many close friends I hope to keep for a lifetime.   This session my best buddy is a 4 year old boy I will call Jer jr.    He struts around Esperanza like he owns the place, giving hi fives and fist pumps.  He talks in a raspy voice, loves to sneak around but has a very soft heart and is almost always kind to his little brother.  He always yells my name when he sees me, wanting me to see his newest trick on the ball swing or to have me throw him in the air, or just to walk with me.  Jer jr is always a moment of Grace to me, a sneaky little gift of happiness is my often heavy days.

Last week, for our Friday activity, I took 11 people over to Nootka island to hike on the logging road we recently found.  I was so happy to see that Jer jr and his family would be one of those who would accompany me.  As we all walked and I played with all the kids, Jer jr decided he needed a walking stick.  I made him one (“too short”), then another (“too icky”) then another (“too fat”), then another (“too squishy”) before I realized he just was tired of walking and wanted me to carry him.  Since we had already walked about 2 miles, I figured .  When I picked him up, he was breathing heavily and, combined with his raspy voice, figured he might have Asthma, and maybe even his parents told him he has Asthma.  “Jer, do you have Asthma?”

He nodded his head, lifted his eyebrows and said “I have many things”

“Oh yeah, what else do you have?” I say while holding in my laugh

“I have snake eyes, and batman and superman”

I immediately got excited about telling this story to everyone who knows Jer, and also very sad.  How do kids these days have a chance if they have to deal with Asthma action figures?

Two days later, after hearing this story, Jer’s other Soulmate Mike Menconi asked him if he had Asthma.  “No, I don’t like Asthma” he said.